It's all worth it in the end
by The Child Of Darkness
Summary: I’ve realized that when I saw you with Kairi, Sora. I do feel…jealous.' 'Truth is, I can’t live with Kairi alone. This ‘fight’ has just made me realize that. Riku... I NEED you.' [RikuXSora]
1. From me to you

**Disclaimer:** Sadly, only the plot is mine...

Let's just say... It's based on a true story, or at least the content of the letter (the rest is just added for the sake of the story), of a dear friend of mine whom I know for a long time.

Since it's a true story and my friends who are involved in the story is in the same grade, so will Sora and Riku...

The italics would be what Riku wrote...

speech is " " and thoughts is ' '

* * *

Sora stood on the empty classroom alone with an envelope in his hand. 

His hand trailed down the envelope that has **'to Sora'** written in a handwriting Sora knows so well.

His heart beats fast. No, it's not a love letter, but it's the first form of communication Riku gave him after Riku had been avoiding him for the past few weeks.

He took his time and opened the envelope slowly. Inside, lays a letter, carefully handwritten despite the messy strikes on a few words that contrasted with the usual neatness of Riku's handwriting and proved that he had put his heart in it and carefully chose the words he wrote.

It began with a _'**Dear Sora'**_, a formality that clenched Sora's heart in pain…

_'I know you've realized that I've been keeping my distance off you for a while. I just couldn't help it. But please know that it's not my intention to avoid you._

_You see… the game that we've been playing for a while… had corrupted us in a lot of ways. You should know it is wrong by now.'_

'The game?' Sora thought to himself before realizing that Riku was referring about the 'game' where they've acted like a couple for fun to tease Kairi… though that game had been out of their control for a while; with all that 'hon', 'babe' and such things after every SMS' they sent each other every day. Not to mention all the constant hugging…

_'This role I've been taking, may have affected me a bit too much. I've realized that when I saw you with Kairi, Sora. I do feel… jealous, or as you say it, "not liking the thoughts of other people hogging after you" whenever you saw me a bit too friendly with Axel._

_It hurts to see you cared about her more. You **should** care about her more. After all, as you said before, what are you without her, right? It is wrong if you cared about me more than you do of her. However, it really hurts to see you don't care about my presence at all._

_Whenever I saw the two of you together, I have this feeling that the world belongs to the two of you only and that I can't find a way to come in since I was never a part of it from the beginning. Besides, it may only be me, and I do know if I tell you, your reaction would probably be "She's not like that!" but I do feel tense whenever I talked to you when you're with her. It's like… she doesn't like my presence. I know you're thinking "She's not like that!" now. No surprise for me there. You love her and need her too much to know it, Sora._

_I know it's wrong to even think this way. I'm just a** friend** and she's your **girl**! You know… It hurts to know that you think and care about her feelings more than mine. Like when you told her about the secret cave I told you to keep it as **our** secret? You told her without thinking how I would feel, didn't you?_

_Everything is 'Kairi this and Kairi that' for you. I hate it! Sometimes, I even wonder why I couldn't just hate you and forget about everything._

_You know, ever since the day you told her about our secret, I've never really believed in anyone anymore. After all, why do you think I like the concept of 'the best part of believe is the **lie'**?_

_You've hurt me so much without noticing it. I don't blame you. It's my fault to get so carried away in our twisted little game. I've realized that when I saw you with her; chatting happily and forgetting about my existence. It hurts me so much that I've realized… I've got carried away too much._

_That's why I've been keeping my distance for awhile from you; to keep a clear head about stuff and straighten things out. It's not that I don't want to talk to you; it's just hard for me to. There are so many things I want to say… but I can't manage to say any._

_I've tried hating you… But I just can't. I love you far too much… so much that I'm scared of myself and scared that I might break you._

_I'm sorry if I've hurt you during the process of clearing my head, Sora. I've never and will never have the intention of hurting you._

_Give me some time… So that I can talk to you with a clear head and smile at you as a friend… without getting hurt to see you in your own little world with her…_

_** -Riku'**_

"Riku…"

Sora found his hand trembling at the end of the letter and a funny feeling arose in his heart.

"…Let's go!"Sora manages to catch the last words of his companion as he realized that he blanked out awhile. Partly in his own world, Sora took a short pause, trying to clear the confusion in his head, before he answered "Oh… um… why don't you go ahead? I'll pack my bag first…" He hid the letter behind him.

He saw Kairi Run for the door and out, though he didn't quite catch what she said before she left. His thoughts were too occupied with… _the letter._

Sora snaps out of his daydream and digs deep into his bag, hoping to find a paper and pen.

"Got it! …Right..." Sora's heart starts to beat louder. "…Here goes… _**'Dear Riku'**_…" It beats faster this time… faster… faster…

Word after word, his heart skips a beat. Letter after letter, it beats faster…

* * *

"HUAAAH! Finished!" He spreads out his arms with the paper in his hands. He seemed satisfied with his work. As he drew out the paper from view, an impatient redhead stood in its place, pouting. 

"What took you so long…?" Kairi asked.

"Sorry…" Sora replied with a grin and hope it would suffice. "It's nothing. Shall we go now?" Finding an opening, he slipped the letter under Riku's table and trotted along with Kairi.

Sora exited the room only to find Riku passes by… Just like that… Not a word from either one.

Sora felt his heart clench and grasped his chest with his hands to try and stop the pain as he continued his journey home, with Kairi…

* * *

**End note**

How 'bout it?

The ironic thing is... my friends which is involved in this story... have actually cosplayed as the character they're playing in this fic.

Riku's letter is made by the one who cosplayed as Riku... and the letter Sora wrote is made by the one who cosplayed as Sora.

and the 'game' they're talking about is of them taking their roles too seriously as Sora and Riku... (they yaoi one?) XD

while 'Kairi' is based on the girl who cosplayed as Namine... XD

Sora's letter's coming up next... in Riku's POV.


	2. His reply

**Disclaimer:** In this part, only the ending belongs to me...

'Sora' wrote half of the story... at least till the ending part. hahaha... So almost nothing belongs to me in this chapter... oh well... I do deserve some credit though... XP

-insertword- is strikethrough... you kno, since font format can't be used... so.. wad can I do? hehe..

And... on to the story.

* * *

Riku was walking along with Tidus and Wakka, his hang-out friends since the 'fight' began. The two of them were chatting merrily, while Riku just walks beside them, lost in his own thoughts. They walk towards their classroom when Riku spotted Sora and Kairi exiting the room together. A pang of pain caught his heart as he used all self-restrain as to not turn and walk away from the 'couple'.

Sora and Kairi passed him…. Just like that…

'How… can he… still do that? …he read it, didn't he? … I guess it doesn't matter to him. He has his Kairi, why would he need me?_'_ Riku gave himself a painful smile before sitting on the usual spot in the classroom.

"…then he stumbled and slid across the floor, ya…!" Wakka ended.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! Did he reall- WAAH!" Tidus stumbled, and banged against the table beside him. Riku's table. A piece of white paper slipped between the gaps of the table, making its way onto Riku's lap as if it were given precise directions to do so.

"Ouch… That really hurt …"said Tidus. "heh.. Idiot… your recklessness finally paid off, ya!"Wakka replied with a snicker. "What did you---!!?" A fight broke loose.

Riku thought it would be fun to join, but curiosity took brought him outside the class. As he stepped towards the railings, he began to unfold the letter.

"A…Reply?"He said to himself, not even for a second had he expected an answer.

'_Dear Riku,'_

The boy stopped for a moment, trying to hold back his laughter because of the hurried writing that looked like claw marks on the paper. When he finally managed to get a hold of himself, he continued…

'_How…? How can you understand how I feel when I just can't seem to get you? Why did you suffer alone because of my 'so-called' -__Nae- __Naivety? '_

'He doesn't know how to spell 'naivety'? … Idiot.'

'_And don't you laugh at my mistakes! I'm in a hurry, okay?! -__Ka-'_

"...always a kid…" Riku said, ignoring the name that Sora was about to mention. He continued…

'…_I really don't know what to say… where to start. It's just… just that all these mixed emotions inside are stopping me from letting out the truth. But I won't let it. I'll try my best to write down… everything._

_Riku, I never meant to hurt you. I know you knew that long before I did myself, but I just wanted you to 'hear' it from me. I've wanted to talk to you about this in awhile, but it was hard for me to start. Now I'm glad that you did… through the letter_.'

'Stupid… why do you think I even bother to write a letter if I don't know you wanted to talk to me? I'm just trying to make it easier for you and me...'Riku smiled to himself as he continued reading.

_'You know… It hurts that you have been avoiding me these past few weeks. It seems like years that we haven't been talking the way we used to. I miss those days – when we used to laugh together, play together, or just be plain wacky around each other. I really miss it. I know now that you didn't mean to keep the distance and that's made me cheer up a bit. I can't get over you either, Riku. You're really something, you know?'_

'Can't believe you just realized that_…'_ Riku smirked to himself despite the blush that is spreading gently on his pale face.

_'Those messages we sent to each other? …I got carried away too and look where it has led me… But I'm not sad, I'm not ashamed! Coz this is how I feel and I can't not be true to myself. What's made me sad; is the fact that it ended for a while and I'm afraid you've given your smile to someone else. I know it may sound wrong so I'll try to step back a bit, but it doesn't mean I want it to stop. It just means I don't want it to go too far_.

_As for Kairi… I'm sorry I told her. She **IS** someone special to me and I know other people think its better to be with her coz they think its right. But what do I care about what other people think about this? Can't I follow my own? Truth is, I can't live with Kairi alone. This 'fight' has just made me realize that. Riku… I **NEED** you._

_I'm sorry it had to happen this way. I'm sorry that I didn't think of your feelings for a change. I'm sorry I screwed up everything. I'm sorry that my naivety led us to this path. I'm really… really sorry. I would give anything to take it all back and bring back the old days._

_What you thought about me not caring about your existence? I did. Of course I did! Every moment when you walk in the door, walk out, go downstairs, walk to class… whenever I can see you, I see **YOU**. It never changed, the way I noticed you, but now it's just that I hide it because I don't want to feel anymore pain-The pain of not being able to become good friends like we used to; the pain that nothing will ever be the same again._

_I, too, have tried to forget, Riku. I TRIED. But I just can't. I try to drown my sorrow in the laughs between Kairi, Hayner , and the others, but it's like I've been wearing a mask since that day. I don't like to lie to myself. I don't want to lie to you. Who knew those stupid actions of mine made you even more miserable… That's the curse of being slow!_

_I WILL give you more time to think it over while I do, too. I'll try to be more careful in what I say and do so that I won't end up hurting you again._

_I'll be waiting for that smile to return, though I know that waiting would hurt me more… but… all's worth it in the end… right?_

_P.S._

_Thanks for the letter. It really opened my eyes. I just hope that mine will open yours…_

_- **Sora**'_

"…" Riku found himself smiling at the end of the letter though he felt his heart clenched in pain… He folded the letter slowly…

"…Wait up! I left my book...!" Riku heard a voice in the distance and a flash of brown caught, in the corner of his eye.

"So…ra?" He said to himself. He turned towards the boy, just in time when Sora turned towards Riku.

* * *

Their eyes met for the first time in a long time… They stare at each other in an awkward silence when finally Sora spotted the letter Riku's holding. 

"… You… read??" Sora averts his gaze towards the floor and a blush is spreading across his face like wild fire.

Riku averts his gaze towards the letter in his hand before smirking to himself… "Yeah… you really mean what you said?"

"Huh? Of- Of course! What are you talking about?!" Sora's head snaps up to look at Riku when he find that Riku's leaning forward slowly towards him.

Sora's face is crimson red and he felt that his heart is beating against his chest faster. Riku leans closer towards Sora, lips almost brushing against each other before Riku moves to the side of Sora's face and whisper huskily against his ear…

"Then you won't get rid of me as easily this time, Sora…" He bit Sora's ear softly, causing the brunette to yelp in surprise, before he stood up and entered the classroom with a smirk on his face, leaving a red-faced Sora alone on the school corridor.

It took a moment before Sora could register what had happened and what Riku actually said. When it does, his face goes 8 shades redder and he entered the room, while averting his gaze towards the floor.

He walk slowly to his desk and took his book. As he's about to leave, his eyes caught Riku, who is laughing alongside Wakka and Tidus who finally stopped fighting.

He felt his heart beat faster again… before he finally whispers to himself with a timid smile….

"… and who says I want to get rid of you…?"

* * *

**End Note**

... that didn't actually happen in the real life... hahahaha... they just remain as friends...

The diffrence is that 'Riku' finally realised how much he means to 'Sora' and that's that...

at least they're closer now... XP


End file.
